In October of 2009, I attended the LandMark forum in Calgary with my Dad. I wasn’t living in Calgary at the time, I had moved back home, so we drove in from BC and stayed at a friends house in the city (who, subsequently, I now live with). The Forum was recommended to us by a friend of ours who had done it and experienced great results.
I can’t easily explain or articulate in words what happened during the Forum. I didn’t really learn anything, per se. What I experienced, however, was something very profound. Being in that seminar with all of those people, sharing their experience, and even getting up to share at the microphone was truly transformative for me.
I really got a sense of the possibilities I could create for myself, and I also got a succinct idea of what I really can be doing to make a cifference – quite simply, share.
I am now taking the Landmark Forum in Action seminar series a year later. Though I have been out of the Forum for a year, I still remember quite a bit of the perspectives and the language used in this education. The seminar series has really propelled me into new realms of possibility by taking what I had learned the year prior, and expanding on that.
What I have got most out of this experience, what has really hit home for me, is sharing myself authentically with others. I have witnessed many times the power my words and authenticity have had over other people around me. I have come to realize that I have a far greater impact on people than I would ever allow myself to believe. I’ve been caught up in the idea that when it came to sharing about recovery, that should be done within the confines of the recovery and
12 step community. When it came to sharing about my experience with the LandMark Forum, I was stuck in a racket which hindered me from expressing the true nature of sharing my experience. Now I can clearly see how the two ideologies are in fact one.
The 12th step states:
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics/addicts, and practice these principals in all our affairs.
Sharing in meetings and helping other addicts and alcoholics is my duty, as a sober person, as I would not be free today had not someone else shared their experience, strength and hope with me. Having experienced the Landmark Forum, I can now see where I run rackets about putting this into action. I would shy away from sharing at meetings because I didn’t think I had anything ‘profound’ or important to say, so why bother. I was reluctant to hold up my hand when the chairperson asked at the end of a meeting ‘If there is anyone willing to be a sponsor, please raise your hand’, because I didn’t think I could do a good job, or I didn’t want to end up being someone’s counsellor. I was reluctant to get into service work because it might take up too much of my time, or I was afraid to make a commitment because I didn’t want to fail. I didn’t want to succeed, either, because then someone might expect something from me – I might be accountable then. The fact of the matter is, I am accountable anyways, as that is what the 12th step states. As I mentioned, I would not be sober today if another addict or alcoholic had not shared their story with me.
When I look at the Landmark Education in conjunction with the 12 steps, this idea of sharing myself authentically really hits home. Why does it have to be about recovery? Why does it have to be about the Landmark Forum? How about I just be fully self expressed and share about whatever is on my mind, regardless of that inner dialogue, rackets or my strongsuits. I can see now how those things kept me sick in my addiction, and continue to hold me back from truly Making a Difference in my life, the lives of others, and in Life itself.
Anytime I am sharing authentically, and am fully self-expressed, I am practicing the 12th step, and I am doing my LandMark homework. Sharing is part of my spiritual experience, it is part of my spiritual growth.
When I share, I am carrying the message – about recovery, about the Landmark Forum, about Life. When I share, I am practicing the principles of the Twelve Steps – spreading the message of recovery to other addicts and alcoholics, spreading the message of transformation from the Landmark Forum. I am taking what I have been given, freely, as a gift, and giving it freely to others. My life is abound with gifts, and I am so full of Gratitude for this- and I can only keep what I have by giving it away, freely, as it has been given to me.
—Tim Molloy
