I attended the Landmark Forum in San Francisco this weekend (June 10th, 2011) My forum leader was Jeff. I knew the seminar was worth while as my sister was rather insistent I attend. Even though I fully “got” what she had FINALLY come to realize I took her advice and attended.

She was pretty adament I would still benefit. So, assuming I was going to spend 3 days of someone telling me all the things I already knew (importance of validating and loving the people around you, etc.) By the end of the first day I started getting a little frustrated with myself. My logical self told me I couldn’t possibly be “racket free”as I had initially thought. But I just could not relate to a lot of what I considered “petty differences” that people were walking up to the mic and addressing. I did a whole lot of crying though…I just hate to see people in pain. In fact, I’m almost allergic to it. As I considered the small trivial rackets that didn’t seem like “the big blind spot” I began pushing them aside for later. As Jeff explained how abusive we were to ourselves and the people around us…as he explained there was no real weight of guilt or blame to be shouldered because of it…”welcome to being human” was a comforting blanket. A soft spot to look out and consider a new perspective. I’m an over thinker already, and this course had steam coming from my ears…if I had to pinpoint when I had my “break through” it began the morning of the second day. Suddenly my “blind spot” was right before my eyes. Too afraid to lose anyone I have made excuses for everyone in my life. So desperate for love and acceptance I would endure anything not to confront a problem. Content just to endure whatever I had to. Which ironically kept me from the very thing I needed so desperately. Jeff said there was nothing wrong with me. He was wrong. There was something very wrong with me until he liberated me from the cycle of self abuse. I’ve spent the last week giddy as a 4 year old to interact with strangers and friends alike. The people in my life crave closeness with me. I can feel their validation and love every moment I am in their presence. Every encounter with people is almost a spiritual awakening for me. I feel connections with perfect strangers instantly when before I didn’t even feel properly connected with my kids. The Landmark Forum helped me step out of my own little world and into the real one…where I watch in half amusement half sadness the people all around me rolling around constrained in their own bubble of reality. I find myself naturally relating to them. I can see people with complete clarity. I see myself with complete clarity.

Communication is natural, easy, and effective. Once upon a time last week I found communication frustrating and pointless. No matter how hard I tried to convey my thoughts the conversations felt ineffective and pointless. I had long ago given up on trying to be understood. Now when I communicate it’s through love and total understanding. My 16 year old daughter smiled at me so genuinely at me I was left breathless.. and totally present to the fact she hadn’t done that in years.. I used to complain that I wanted to care about people… what they are doing… what their names are… but I never could manage to break out of my apathy. I went to a confrence for work shortly after the seminar and remembered the names of every person I interacted with. I have an interest in people like a 4 year old child. I can’t seem to shut up these days. I’m completely confident standing up and engaging a group of people. Not just talking, but ENGAGING. My life is forever changed. If the Landmark Forum could truely put into words what they give no one would ever sign up because they just wouldn’t believe it. In a world where we struggle to meet our own expectations its nearly impossible to believe in 3 days you can become completely transformed. That’s a bold statement. But the Landmark forum really delivered. They didn’t give me a set of instructions for fixing my life. They just fixed it. THANKS JEFF!!!!

—Michelle